![]() ![]() We overestimate what we already know and, mired in our arrogance, remain unaware of all we misunderstand. It feels safe, but it’s really just stifling. ![]() Life otherwise can become a muted existence, with days spent cocooned in unquestioned beliefs and fixed concepts, where, even though the world and the people in it are always changing, nothing is ventured beyond the borders of what you already know or accept as true. As you become more attuned to the thoughts and emotions of others, you become more alive to the world and it becomes more alive to you. “ People used to listen to one another while sitting on front porches and around campfires, but now we are too busy, or too distracted, to explore the depths of one another’s thoughts and feelings” And to listen poorly, selectively, or not at all is to limit your understanding of the world and deprive yourself of becoming the best you can be. The soothing voice of a mother, the whisper of a lover, the guidance of a mentor, the admonishment of a supervisor, the rallying of a leader, the taunts of a rival are what form and shape us. You don’t know about the person with whom you are speaking or what you can learn from that person’s experience The goal is to leave the exchange having learned something. To listen is to be interested, and the result is more interesting conversations. We are, each of us, the sum of what we attend to in life. And, more broadly, our collective listening, or the lack thereof, profoundly affects us politically, societally, and culturally. While you might take listening for granted, how well you listen, to whom, and under what circumstances determines your life’s course-for good or ill. Listening is something you do or don’t do every day. Here are my favourite take-aways from reading, You’re Not Listening: ![]() It’s a very particular skill that develops over time by interacting with all kinds of people-without agenda or having aides there to jump in if the conversation goes anywhere unexpected or untoward. Listening is more of a mindset than a checklist of dos and don’ts. You’re Not Listening is a book in praise of listening and a lament that, as a culture, we seem to be losing our listening mojo. The average person suffers from three delusions we believe we are good drivers, good listeners, and think we have a good sense of humor. Some may have more natural ability and some may have to try harder, but everyone can benefit from making the effort.“ “Listening is like playing a sport or musical instrument in that you can get better and better with practice and persistence, but you will never achieve total mastery. ![]()
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